Are you with the right people

Socialness brings in many people in our lives. Many of these people become closer than the rest. Many a times its needed to ask ourselves whether we are with the right people. They could be our in-laws or office colleagues or some new friends. These are some insights I got while I was in such a situation, at the Isha Yoga Center. (Read my experiences there). Some signs to look out for....

- Are they promoting the right people?
See which people are being promoted within the group. Whether they are 'right' or not is subjective. However if a lot of the people being promoted or encouraged or liked are not 'right' according to you. Then probably the group is not 'right' for you either.

- What happens after a conversation with them?
Do you feel left out, unheard or disturbed after talking with these people? If you do then it is not a good sign. It is not necessary that you agree with them but even if you don't meetings, talks, conversations should end on a positive note where you have understood the other side. You should feel heard and trustful about their reasons.

-The Unexpected factor
How often are actions by the group unexpected for you? If the things that they are doing are too unexpected then you are not able to gauge these people. Especially if they are disturbing incidents then its a red alert that you need to reconsider being with this bunch of people.

- Can you talk well about them?
Can you easily gush out some positive and interesting aspects of these people or organization? If not then maybe they are not a positive or interesting influence in your life.

- Is there bonding happening beyond your sphere of work or relationship matters?
If it is office colleagues then you should be bonding over a talk of movies or Mafia Wars. With in-laws there are tons of ways to extend the relation into some friendly chit-chat. Go traveling with them etc.. Even with a boss you can bond over a geeky talk abt Google or something. These are the aspects that bring closeness and warmth between people.

However if all or most of the above aspects are simply not happening then the people are not right for you and life is too short to spend with the wrong people! Best thing you can do is wish them all the best and Leave! :)

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